The Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope Kiss of Death Collage, aka A Poet’s Petty Obsession with Publication Rejection: A Reply and Response

— Kelly Cressio-Moeller

Thank you for the opportunity to read your work.

Translation:  Pull up a chair. We’ve got some bad news.

After much consideration, we feel unable to use it.

Let’s be clear about this. Of course, you’re able to use it.
Willing, however is another matter.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite meet our needs at this time.

Your needs? If this was about your needs, you’d be submitting to me!

We’ve decided your poems aren’t right for us, but we wish you luck placing them elsewhere.

How about in my new chapbook entitled, Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine?

Dear Writer, I like your images behind your ideas, but the execution is a bit off.

Trust me. If this were a real execution, my aim would be perfect.

The work reads as though you are very conscious of writing it.

My only regret is that I was conscious while reading this rejection letter.

Without submissions like yours, we’d lose the sense of discovery that keeps us fresh.

Apparently, Christopher Columbus was busy. Happy I could help!

We wish you every success in your future writing endeavors. Thank you so much for thinking of us!

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