K Street Report 2028

— Jim Russo

We interrupt everything for the monthly K Street report from Washington.

K Street Energy Director announced today the demand for oil has reached an all time high. New estimates are three years before the moratorium on new births can be lifted.

K Street Food Zar announced today that the production of the Orange Pill will resume. Tests indicate that the loss of life is at acceptable levels. The White Dinner Pill can be followed by the new Green Evening Pill after a wait of three hours.

K Street Agency on Habitat announced today that last month’s record heat at the equator resulted in the loss of four and a half million lives.

K Street Agency of Development announced today that due to increased arrests of domestic terrorists by homeland security, the inmate labor pool continues to grow and the completion of underground housing for another half million service sector workers is ahead of schedule.

K Street Health Minister announced today, New Breathing Mask technology has increased life expectancy of young Americans. Testing will increase on improving adult skin protectors.

K Street Financial Zar announced today, three eastern countries agreed to the U.S. Corporate Management Act . . . . U.S. charges and fees will enable some Americans to return from volunteer exile at the Arctic Circle.

K Street Health Treatment Center has announced today that suicide numbers have been reduced due to the success of the Blue Pill. The center will continue to revise music selections directed at cerebral implants.

K Street Atmospheric Director announced today that maximum exterior daylight exposure will be reduced to three hours. This will reduce skin lesions and blindness, especially to our aging population.

2 thoughts on “K Street Report 2028

  1. Frighteningly dark and dystopic! I had to look out my window at the sunlight and green trees after I read this poem.

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