A Proposal for Additions to the Common Lexicon

— Dennis Noren

 

Recoplausia — At a concert, the applause given by the audience when they first recognize the introduction to a well known song – Recoplausia

Pseudorecoplausia – When the audience thinks they recognize the intro to a song, but it’s something else, and the applause trickles away – Pseudorecoplausia

 

iCordirectitude – the impatient untangling of earbud wires for an MP3 player – iCordirectitude

Similezation Rate – The number of times, like, per minute, like, that a person, like, uses the word, like, like – Similezation Rate

Intercognition Rate – The number of times, you know, per minute, that a male athlete, you know, says the words, you know, you know – Intercognition Rate

Familiotubiaphobia – The fear that your mother has seen what you have posted on youtube –Familiotubiaphobia

Familiotubiafractation – The shock of seeing what your mother posted on youtube – Familiotubiafractation

Hyperultramegananosecond – The length of time between the statement “We cannot comment on this issue while it is the subject of an ongoing legal investigation” and the statement “We are not going to comment on a matter that has been thoroughly discussed in appropriate forums” – Hyperultramegananosecond

Caffeinilibrium Point – a point equidistant to two Starbucks Coffeehouses, and within line of sight to both — Caffeinilibrium Point

Reversofluviate – the prolonged tilting of a cup of cappuccino to get the last bit of foam globules from it – Reversofluviate

Technodictosis — The overwhelming urge to tell all your friends, and some random strangers, in extreme detail about the latest electronic gadget you have bought — Technodictosis

MusicalChairmenOfTheBoarditure – The art of one financial institution selling toxic mortgage-backed securities to another financial institution, who thinks that they can resell those securities and take their own percentage before three chairs get taken away, the whole scam gets exposed, and they get bailed out by the government anyway and win a medal – MusicalChairmenOfTheBoarditure

and Microsoftesia – The realization upon waking, that the images in your dream, or nightmare, were enclosed in a rectangular box, had pull-down menus, and an unhelpful help page, were resizable, relocatable, and resulted in the blue screen of death. — Microsoftesia

Look for each of these, coming soon, to a dictionary near you.

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